To all the Susan Pevenises
My heart goes out to all the Susan Pevenises of the world. Especially in this hour. My heart aches for them. The Lord woke me up recently to talk to me about her. There are a lot of things happening with Susan Pevensie. But Aslan woke me up the other day and said, “Haley, Susan chose to forsake the process. She wanted the end result without walking through the process of the journey with me.” And when he said that, it broke my heart. I’m not here to spoil the end of Narnia for you. But if you know, you know. My heart breaks for her and others like her because, in her, there’s hope but also a warning. After all, as C.S Lewis even mentioned, he didn’t believe her story was over. But he never actually had the chance to write the end of her story in a finite way. Susan had the very TRUTH in front of her, and when she had the choice, she chose the world that fades away. She didn’t choose to process. She got choked by the world despite the divine revelation that she carried and knew so profoundly once upon a time. When she came “home,” She didn’t learn to know him by a different name even though he was right there, so ready, so willing, arms aching to take her on that journey. The journey of further up and further in because the back of the wardrobe only takes you so far, and he wants to take you so far and so deep that the wardrobe, the train station, and the boat become tiny specs in the distance. The wardrobe is only the first entry point. And eventually, the map won’t look so familiar to you, but it’s very familiar to him. Susan made it through the wardrobe, but over time she refused to go past the train stations. To go further, you have to take the ticket and get on the train, and you have to let him drive.
When she looked around and no longer saw the home she knew so intimately and burned so bright she didn’t give him her sadness, pain, and disappointment. She held onto it. And eventually, a different voice enters, offering counterfeits and faster solutions. Solutions that are not the truth and will not bring you Freedom. And somewhere along the way, she forgets who she is and whose she is. And even still, there’s a lion and a king who is very much more significant than all the other voices who longs so badly to break the shame and all the other chains away, including the ones wrapped around the heart. But he won’t do it without her permission because too much has already been taken by someone else without permission, and he longs to restore all of the childlikeness and all of the wonder and all of the joy and make it so much better than it was before.